An Open Letter to My Chest

Dear Twins,

I know winter is fast approaching, and you'll soon be hibernating in thick sweaters and turtlenecks, so I just wanted to run a few thoughts past you both.
First off, thank you for a fantastic summer. I promise a new swimsuit next summer as long as you both promise not to fight for space or anything while you're hibernating.
I'd also like to apologize for using you . I hope you can forgive me, because sometimes you're my only chance to get what I want. Someday, you'll understand.
I know you've been hearing a lot about breast cancer this month. It might be scary, but think of all of the people who are trying to find a cure. Maybe, before you ever become treasonous, there might be a cure. And try to remember that one of the reasons so many of the people we love are diagnosed with breast cancer because doctors are getting so much better at finding it.
Everyone from Victoria to Hugh Hefner tells us that you two define femininity like water defines an ocean. And yeah, when you look good, I feel good, too. But I hope you understand that femininity is not defined by what fills our shirts, but by what fills our hearts. So if you have to leave me at some point, I will understand. But just in case, I'll wear that black dress a little more often, take pictures at the beach and pretend like you're never going to migrate south.
So, before you go into hiding, I'll make you a deal.
I'll make sure to eat better and keep my weight down, always support you properly, and make sure to check on you regularly. If I do all of that, will you please let me know if there's anything wrong and maybe try to stay north of the equator? I think it's a fair deal.
Thanks for listening, girls. I hope you have a terrific, comfortable winter. I'll see you around Valentines Day.
Love,
Mel