Disappointing Start

When I started "Make Yourself," I was hoping to chronicle the meteoric rise of my writing/television career. I expected some ups and downs, and up until this point, have decided to only write about the ups. But in the current state of my career, the economy and journalism itself, there really is no good news to report.

First, I must confess that I have interviewed for two positions with the broadcast team for the 2009 IRL race season. I interviewed in October, and was told I would know my fate by Thanksgiving. The week after Turkey Day, I received word that one of the positions was filled, but I was in line for the other. I have not heard word from them since.

There are several reasons for my discouragement. First, I REALLY wanted to rejoin the IRL crew, and I knew I could do a great job in either position. Second, I interviewed with people I had already worked with, built a relationship with, and I have not received the courtesy of a "we gave it to someone else" call.

I've stretched out hope and anticipation for three months, not telling nary a soul other than those I live with and those I asked for advice. So I come clean, disappointed but honest.
***

Another indicator of the downturn my industry has taken, The Gannett company, for whom I am currently working, has decided to forgo first quarter layoffs in 2009 in return for "furloughs."

No, Gannett is not giving us a week of vacation to get tattoos and sleep around, as one of my co-workers put it. We are required to take a week without pay sometime between now and the end of March. This may not seem like a big deal, which it isn't in comparison to layoffs, but the way journalists are paid, many people count on every cent in their paycheck.

To be forced to go a week without pay is disheartening more than anything, for my situation. Nothing says Dead End Job like "We can't pay you." Top to bottom, Gannett is enforcing the furloughs. But the question remains, after the end of the first quarter, will our jobs be safe even then?
***
A year ago, I was working for The Brazil Times in Indiana. I was full time, with a flexible schedule and an excellent work environment. Sure, there were issues with that job (the 75-mile one-way commute non-withstanding), but it was solid.

I moved to New Jersey to be with my fiance, with the thought that finding a full-time position would be easier now that I had a full time job on my resume.

What this move has turned into is me working three part-time jobs, not being able to put my whole heart and soul into any of them, and reducing my fiance to a person who I see before bed and when I wake up.

I don't regret it, but I am very frustrated, like many other Americans, that I am a willing, intelligent, motivated person looking for a full time job with a less-than-first-year-teacher pay, and there is nothing out there for me.

How am I supposed to pay for a wedding? How am I supposed to keep my fiance around long enough to plan a wedding? And how long am I supposed to wait for the self-respect that comes along with being a full-time employee?

It's inauguration week, and while the nation is brimming with the hope that President-Elect Barack Obama can make his changes, I am less than hopeful that things will change soon for me.

Don't worry, I'm not giving up - it's just nice to vent every once in a while.