Things To Look Forward to On Election Night

First, before election night kicks off, I'm interested in the Chris Berman interview of Obama and McCain during the Monday Night Football game. Berman can't interview Tom Jackson very well, so why would we expect him to do a good job with the two presidential candidates? I think Mike Tirico has proven himself time and time again for the network, and has earned a right to do one of the most important interviews of the year. They should've given it to him just for putting up with Tony Kornheiser in the booth all season!

During the actual election coverage, I will probably be watching CNN. Not because I agree with their politics, or particularly enjoy their coverage, but because of The Wall. The technology, designed just for elections, is fascinating. It must have taken months for John King to learn how to use it. Do you see anyone else attempting to circle and enlarge Ohio counties by voting precincts? It could be the greatest technological advance in television since the glowing puck and the first down line.

If I were hosting an election party, which I know some of my more politically-minded friends are, I would play this drinking game. Every hour, a different cable news network is tuned in (MSNBC, FoxNews, CNN, etc.). Divide the room into Republicans and Democrats, and take drinks at the appropriate words. For the Dems: Maverick, Cronie, scandal, Cheney, Tax Cut, Oil Industry. For the GOPs: Change (or any variation of the word), Well Spoken, experience, Rev. Jeremiah Wright, Hilary, universal health care. If a party takes the Electoral College votes for a state, the other party must finish their drinks. Hopefully, everyone would be tipsy enough to not notice Anderson Cooper's sneer or the "experts" brought in to analyze the evening.

Of course, I'm interested in all of the usual stuff: Who will win the swing states, Will the electoral college reflect the popular vote, Will there be a tie, Can Florida explain to its Seniors that you have to punch all the way through, and no, Richard Nixon is not on the ballot.

As a first-time voter (by absentee, so I'm already not being counted), I do feel a sense of pride in helping to choose our country's leader. We all hope we make the right choice, and sometimes when we don't, we're thankful for all of the people who did. Or comiserate with all of the other idiots.

If you are looking for some political comic relief, I suggest visiting www.jibjab.com. Their political cartoons are hilarious, and they still have some classics from the '04 election up.
Everyone have a safe and happy election day. Go Vote!

I don't know what we're protesting, but it sure is fun!

A few weekends ago, I was lucky enough to be in Boston for the annual Honk parade and protest. My family and I stood watching the parade for over an hourand toured the festival grounds near the Harvard campus, and I STILL have no idea what the protest was about. If you can decipher from the photos, please feel free to let me know.

The Grand Marshalls were NPR's Click and Clack, the hosts of "Car Talk." Interesting choice, considering most of the parade seemed to be about bikes.

I get frustrated when my kitchen counters are too low, but I don't go parading around about it.
I've totally missed the boat on this one.

Why? For what reason? That's what I want to know, too!
This is where I started to get really confused.

Okay, this makes more sense. Bicycles. Yes. Bicycles are good.

I know there are a lot of war protesters, but this guy seems to be a little late. This is fun. And sparkly!Okay, I think we're getting somewhere.

No matter your political affiliation, this is just clever.

And this is just disturbing.

So, Wyatt, what do you think of your first cross-dressing experience? Yeah, I'm confused too.

More fun with the Leftist Marching Band. What great outfits!

As you can tell, it was a fabulous day. Despite the confusion. I'm looking forward to my next protest. And I think I'm going to invite those really tall chefs!

An Open Letter to My Chest

Dear Twins,

I know winter is fast approaching, and you'll soon be hibernating in thick sweaters and turtlenecks, so I just wanted to run a few thoughts past you both.
First off, thank you for a fantastic summer. I promise a new swimsuit next summer as long as you both promise not to fight for space or anything while you're hibernating.
I'd also like to apologize for using you . I hope you can forgive me, because sometimes you're my only chance to get what I want. Someday, you'll understand.
I know you've been hearing a lot about breast cancer this month. It might be scary, but think of all of the people who are trying to find a cure. Maybe, before you ever become treasonous, there might be a cure. And try to remember that one of the reasons so many of the people we love are diagnosed with breast cancer because doctors are getting so much better at finding it.
Everyone from Victoria to Hugh Hefner tells us that you two define femininity like water defines an ocean. And yeah, when you look good, I feel good, too. But I hope you understand that femininity is not defined by what fills our shirts, but by what fills our hearts. So if you have to leave me at some point, I will understand. But just in case, I'll wear that black dress a little more often, take pictures at the beach and pretend like you're never going to migrate south.
So, before you go into hiding, I'll make you a deal.
I'll make sure to eat better and keep my weight down, always support you properly, and make sure to check on you regularly. If I do all of that, will you please let me know if there's anything wrong and maybe try to stay north of the equator? I think it's a fair deal.
Thanks for listening, girls. I hope you have a terrific, comfortable winter. I'll see you around Valentines Day.
Love,
Mel